LIFE IN ISOLATION 4

The last few days have felt quite intense. The beginning of the week felt somewhat novel, adjusting to a new routine (or lack thereof), the end brought with it a realisation that this new reality could be ours for several months now and we have no control over it. On Wednesday the government made an announcement about self employment support and I learnt I wasn't eligible. I didn't think I was particularly attached to the outcome but as soon as I heard the words "we are unable to help you" in relation to people who became self employed post April 2019, I burst into tears.

The announcement brought with it a layer of vulnerability that I had so far managed to shake off and I've spent the latter part of the week feeling a bit unstuck. I haven't really wanted to go for my walks  but one thing I've learnt is that I always feel a lot better when I've been outside. The marina at golden hour on Saturday was beautiful, if once again a bit surreal with people in masks and moving to the far side of the path to keep the mandated 2m apart.

I feel like the tone of this blog is so sombre but there are lots of positive things happening too. I spent a lot of time this weekend on houseparty talking to friends with wine (or with tea depending on the time zone I've been speaking to!) Technology has been amazing for keeping us connected. My parents spent all week last week working on a YouTube channel and on Sunday my Mum live streamed her first service. We have set up a food bank collection point outside our front door and every day we are finding donations outside. It's amazing to see how the community is pulling together. 

 

LIFE IN ISOLATION 3

The way the yoga community has responded to isolation is amazing. This week I have done two online classes with some of my favourite teachers, both of whom I don't see often enough in real life so it felt like a bit of a treat. I had a surreal moment last night when I was practicing and I had my eyes closed, I forgot where I was for a moment because the familiarity of the class transported me to the studio where I usually practice. It made me feel a bit emotional - not sad exactly, an unidentified emotion - it was like sudden reminder of what life used to be like and a realisation that we have no idea how long we will be here. Still, I left the class on a high. It was a true joy to practice with my teacher who is currently all the way in LA. How awesome is technology?

LIFE IN ISOLATION 2

After I wrote in here yesterday, I went for my 'daily exercise' which was a walk by the river. It's weird going for a walk when you know it's your one and only chance to get outside for the day. You don't want to waste the opportunity by coming home to early, but you're not sure how long you're meant to be out for.

I actually got to leave the house for a second time later that day as a vulnerable neighbour needed some shopping collecting from Co-Op so I collected it and left it at her door. Afterwards I facetimed with my sister who has been self-isolating now for 9 days as she had mild symptoms early last week. She feels better now but has no sense of taste or smell - there are reports that is now associated with Covid-19. 

I listened to a podcast yesterday which talked about the idea of 'secular immortality' which is where humans accumulate wealth or possessions to prove to themselves they're alive. This happened after 9/11 and behavioural scientists are contemplating whether this will happen again once this is over, it would mean a spike in purchasing of houses, cars etc. 

This morning I woke up feeling like I wanted to exercise so I tried a youtube workout. I completed the warm up and then I was too exhausted/mentally checked out to carry on so I sunbathed on my yoga mat. I seem to be finding it difficult to concentrate on any one thing for a long period of time, so I am experimenting with the idea of just going with the flow and doing what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it. I think this period of isolation would be a lot easy with a day job to do, but all my leads for freelance work dried up over the last few weeks unsurprisingly and there is only so much time I can spend a per day sending ~networking~ online and sending e-mails out into the ether. I edited a post on my professional website yesterday and I do intend to start posting more over there when it feels right. It feels a bit odd thinking about or writing about sustainable fashion at the moment, so I need to work out how I'm going to tackle it.

Edit: I went for my daily walk this afternoon and it felt so eerie and surreal. There were hardly and cars on the road and I walked past loads of closed down businesses. Still it was reassuring to see people are doing what the government has asked. In other good news, the government asked for 250,000 volunteers and over 400,000 people responded!

LIFE IN ISOLATION 1

Last night the Prime Minister set unprecedented restrictions on daily life. We now need to stay at home as much as possible - we can go out only to get essentials and we can exercise once a day.

Every morning I wake up feeling like I dreamt the whole thing. This is my 3rd day not leaving the house as I've felt a bit paranoid. The local community forums are saying the high street is still really busy - It was certainly that way on Saturday when I went to post a package, groups of people everywhere. Hopefully after last nights announcement it will be quieter outdoors, meaning the streets will be safer for vulnerable people to go out for a walk.

I'm self-employed at the moment and as I have some savings I can't access even the very small amount of government support offered but I still have to pay rent and utilities. It's worrying not knowing how long I won't be working for but I'm trying not to think about it, because there are people worse off than me.

On a positive note, the sun is shining brightly today and it looks forecast to every day this week. I'm isolating with my parents so we will be able to use the garden, I didn't think my mental health would have lasted long isolating in London but so far I feel relatively calm here.