I've been lost in my head for a few weeks now. If anyone asked I would describe it as feeling uninspired and demotivated but it's more like I've been paralysed by fear. Fear that what I start I won't finish, fear that what I finish will become just another project that amounts to nothing. Nothing big anyway, not a business or an empire or a path to something bigger. I mean what's the point of writing one blog post and not writing again for weeks or months. One yoga class isn't going to change my life or one 5 minute run. So why start?
"Because you enjoy it" says one voice "because it might lead somewhere you haven't thought of" says another "you're right, what's the point, don't bother" says the loudest one. And that's where I've been for the last few weeks. My head filled with plans and dreams but the loud voice shouting them down at every opportunity. Yesterday it shouted its loudest, it took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes until finally, finally, I shouted back.